To the Girl Missing her Father on Father’s Day…

Being a daddy’s girl is like having permanent armor for the rest of your life.

Mariners Reka

To the girl missing her father on Father’s Day, this is for you.

For eight years I have dealt with this empty feeling on Father’s Day. Why, because I’ve had to deal with the memories of what I use to have. And realizing that they are just that, a memory.

For the first two years I was so angry. I didn’t understand why I had to sit through this day and deal with my pain and remember that he’s never coming back.

The next few years I started to shift more into acceptance. Understanding that I had the best dad for 17 years! He was better than what most people have in a life time and that’s the best.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still hurts but I have such a strong support system that never neglected to remind me of what I had and to be thankful for it.

After his death I had a numerous amount of male figures that were around step up into my life to ensure I was ok. How many people can say that. I was so thankful that along with taking care of their own kids, they made sure that I was ok. They included me in their family and that meant the world.

So here we are, 8 years later and I’m finally able to express my feelings.

My circumstance and family dynamic I’ve come to realize was almost textbook. I had two educated parents that both came from a two parent household with siblings. Both my parents excelled at everything they did and supported me to do the same.

They came to everything my brother and I ever did and they supported us through it all. We had a open home dynamic that was always full of life and laughter. We took those family vacations where my dad would drive, my mom would sit in the passengers side, and my brother and I would be worrisome in the back seat the whole way.

However, what people didn’t know was my dad had Sickle Cell Anemia. A disorder that caused your red blood cells to be misshapen and die early. Leaving the person with limited healthy cells.

For a long time I didn’t understand what he was dealing with. Until I got older and he would tell me or and I would do more research on my own. I learned that it was important for him to watch what he eats, stay hydrated, and do what ever he can to limit his pain. And that’s exactly what he did. Where most people make a hospital visit every few months, my dad could limit his to every few years because he took such good care of himself.

Every time he was sick, my mom was there. She was there from the beginning and all the way to the end. Watching her do so made me learn just what it was to love someone else so much.

Reminiscing about all he did for us made me understand the epitome of a dad. Any man can become a father but it takes a real man to step up and be dad.

So to the girl missing you father on Father’s Day, don’t dwell on what you feel like you missed. It always hurts to know that he wasn’t there physically for my high school graduation, my signing day, my first day of college, both my college graduations, and my first job.

He won’t be there for my wedding and my first child but no matter what he sees it all. And I know he’s proud of us everyday.

So, enjoy those sweet memories of him that you have. Take time to appreciate those people in your life that have helped you through the rough times. And look forward to making new and loving memories with the people you love. And don’t forget to tell him Happy Father’s Day!