My Natural Hair Journey

Being natural is not a STATEMENT, it is the closest I can get to being MYSELF.

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On August 18, 2015, I decided that I was ready to go natural.

I had driven home to get a relaxer with my beautician, that I had been seeing since I was 10 years old, after a 5 month stint of not having my hair done. We had a regular ritual of me visiting every two weeks, alternating between a relaxer and a good wash/style. For the past 10 years, she had be keeping my hair nice and healthy and for her I was grateful. But, when it was time for me to go to college, I realized that I was on my own. And I really didn’t know what I was doing.

The first two years were tough. being a collegiate athlete, my hair was always tough to handle. I had a number of styles that were just out of convenience for competition and travel but, may not have been the best for my dry, brittle, relaxed hair. But I was “too busy” to figure out what my hair really needed.

After removing the styles, I noticed my hair still wasn’t progressing so, I tried hair pills. They worked and did everything I needed them to do but, it got expensive and even though I had developed a good hair care routine, I still was struggling to keep it going. With the season kicking up into full gear which meant, back to the convenient styles.

So here we are, making that car ride back to school after getting my relaxer and a much needed cut to rid my hair of its dead ends. I cried my eye out because I hated the cut and I felt my hair had thinned out and was no longer healthy. So in that moment, I decided to go natural. I was no longer happy with my hair and realized I needed a change.

So for the next 12 months I decided to transition by having a new protective style every 4 weeks. It was working out great for me, I was starting to see what my curl pattern might be and I couldn’t wait to cut it to see it in full affect. But mentally, I new I couldn’t do it just yet. I wasn’t ready to look at myself sporting a haircut that matched my brother’s. I still was confused on who I was and where I wanted to go and cutting my hair just seemed like to big of a decision to add to my already list of crisis.

So the months rolled by and the styles kept coming, and I had a pretty good few months. I discovered what I liked and disliked, what I was ready to do, and more things about myself that I didn’t expect. So after an amazing track season, I returned home to my stylist at the 10 month mark on June 18, 2016 (2 months earlier than I planned) and told her I was ready to big chop.

She used her shears and cut strands of my hair away. As I watched it drop to the floor I started to feel like my identity was leaving my body. Tears threatened to fall but my pride just wouldn’t allow it. For years my hair was always done, nicely relaxed and roller wrapped. I always valued my appearance and felt that my outer appearance didn’t match my inner self anymore and now I wasn’t too sure about how I felt about my decision.

For the next hour she washed, deep conditioned and styled my cut. I hadn’t seen what I looked like until she held that mirror up in front of my face at the end and, I couldn’t help but smile. I was very pleased with my new look and was ready to take on the world.

For awhile, people didn’t know how to react. I had people tell me they didn’t like it, question me on why I did it, tell me my hair was fine the way it was. That’s when I realized just how superficial people can be or just how superficial I really was. Suddenly I had the urge to show people just how pretty I could be with my hair.

For the next few years I battled with my hair on what it liked and didn’t like. What styles really fit me. I still believed that my hair was a reflection of me and how I felt. The only difference was that now, people could really see how I was feeling through the care of my natural hair. Before, I was paying for someone to do my hair and every two weeks she helped me show the world I was ok when some days I may not have been. But now, it was my job to make me feel good about myself.

So two years into my journey, I made another visit to my beautician telling her of all my hair troubles which resulted in what I thought would be a small trim, but turned out to be a haircut. I again had to rid my hair of the dead ends and shed all of my natural hair mistakes and try again.

Since then, I have been making sure that I was doing all I could to keep my hair healthy. I had a NEW hair care regimen where I did what I felt was right for my hair, bought products that aided in my healthy hair journey, and ensured that I was putting good things into my body (vitamins, fruits, vegetables, and drinking water).

Now, four years later, I have my hair down to a science. I have been able to significantly thicken my hair and be able to feel comfortable in my own skin. I now truly understand that ” I am not my hair”. I am who I am and my hair is an extension of me. It helps me express my mood, make a statement, and be creative.

My natural hair journey was more than a journey to healthy hair, but a journey to self discovery, acceptance, and love.

So happy 4 year Naturalversary to me!